VersatileBoy's Blog

VB: I think it depends on what you mean by the term. I am sure some use it simply to describe any lifestyle a person who happens to be gay chooses, which doesn't involve wholesale denial or reprogramming. Others might use it only to describe gay people of a particular social circle or with particular interests. I guess it all boils down to what you mean by "lifestyle" and the scope of people you know about. Lifestyle is... what? The places you go, people you know, words you use, clothes you wear, things you do? Or lifestyle is who you like? That term does get thrown around a lot, and I am never sure what one means by it. Anytime I hear it my ears perk up a bit; it tends to be in a negative context. I think sometimes it just means anyone who is gay, regardless of how they live. Takes the emphasis off the fact that having homosexual feelings isn't a choice, and puts the emphasis on the way one "chooses to live". Yeah, there certainly is difference between an having an impulse, and acting on it... but that isn't the point. It makes a judgement call, both on the one who makes that choice, as well as the particular actions that choice entails. So, is there a "black lifestyle" or "female lifestyle"? For those who say that is a false analogy, I disagree. You are born into your gender, your race, or your orientation; the only real difference being that your orientation isn't necessarily as readily identifiable as your gender or race (although these, too, can be equally elusive). Listen, if you ever talked about a black person living a "black lifestyle" you'd be accused of racism or bias immediately. I think it is all a misnomer; identifying life-style with orientation or race or some other specific trait and grouping them together... but then, I am not one for labels. It is just so easy to live in a black-and-white world, but our world is not that way. There are many shades of grey in my world. Of all the people I've known, the "style" of their lives vary in innumerable and indescribable ways; straight or gay just doesn't seem to matter. So, I don't really know what a gay lifestyle is.

VB: I have been aware for most of my life of being very different in a general way. All things in hindsight, I can remember thoughts and feelings which evidenced this very early in life, but until one begins to have a sexual context or begins to become sexually aware, these things do not point to questions of orientation. The first time I remember having different feelings about a boy and wondering what they meant would have been... kindergarten. There was a boy in my class that I liked very much, and I found myself thinking of him at times, or certain things might remind me of him; he would come to my mind. I remember wanting him to like me. He was fun and smart. He moved away at the end of the year, and I was unhappy about it. I thought of him for long time afterward. This was unusual overall for me. I remember thinking that there was something different about him, or the way I thought about him. Going forward a bit, the first time I ever had a real crush on a boy (but didn't quite know it) was in fourth grade. Funny now to think about, similar story in that he moved away shortly after we met and I really started to like him. He was still close enough that we spent time together, it was just much more limited. This was at the time of my sexual awareness really beginning. I remember having more romantic feelings more him, wanting to be around him and share things. I think everything changed over the year or so that followed, becoming very much more aware of that which my eyes beheld, and the wheels started turning. And by wheels I mean biological wheels, and of course the mind is turning trying to process all this new information, and the brain is physically changing along with the body, hormones surging and all. That all came full force very quickly. I have been very fortunate in this sense: I began to read at an early age, and have always been an avid reader. Being well read about issues one encounters dealing with growing up, sexuality, and the world generally had a huge impact on my dealing with this understanding. If I had not had the knowledge or resources available to me through books, aside from being a generally confused person, I am sure my views of myself and growing up gay would have been radically different, and much more difficult. I understood reproduction, that a man and woman were necessary, that was the "norm", etc. I knew from books what homosexuality was, that some men wanted to be with men, and that always seemed very fine and natural to me.

 - VersatileBoy 

Hi Guys! I've decided to post a recent interview on the blog, one question per entry. This is an introductory interview about me and sexuality:

 

VB: Yes, basically. I am a young gay man; not young enough to be considered a "boy" proper, but still young enough to get away with it. Age is really a lot about how you feel, it's a state of mind, no more. Most of the time, I feel like a boy. Guy is fine, too if the word "boy" gives you some funky ideas. Yeah, I am a "man", but for the time I have, I will stay a "boy". In a few more years, who knows? Okay, so that is about as clear as I can make that. With respect to versatility, I like and enjoy most everything, and have a pretty wide scope in terms of sexuality. I have hard and soft limits, as should everyone, and I feel like I know where those are and when it is okay to explore broadening them. Primarily what I like to emphasize in being versatile is that I do not get tied down in sexual roles. I like to try new things, and tried and true things. I enjoy softness and sweetness, as well as raunchy hardcore sex, and what's in between. I enjoy both ends of the spectrum, and all along the length of it. I feel like, for me being stuck at one end means you are missing much of the fun, or potential fun. If you are a "power top" and only like to fuck, or you only like to bottom, that is fine. If you only fuck in socks and never with bare feet, great. If you always have to have sex at 9:30 PM and it always has to be in bed, missionary style, wonderful. Everyone likes different things, and that is great! To me, playing both ends and along the length is fun and it is all very enjoyable to me. But even for a person whose preference is for a limited scope, or who "doesn't enjoy" certain parts of that, a repositioning might just be something they did not expect; they might like it, or learn something new. I have definitely been witness on several occasions to a guy opening up to a new experience or changing their mind about their likes or dislikes after talking about it or doing it with me. Example: guys who "don't like getting fucked", who may have never been fucked properly. Listen, if you've been there, done that, and it is not your thing, NO problem! But if you haven't enjoyed it, maybe it had something to do with your partner (poor communication, lack of consideration, overeagerness, bad aim, no lube, or a host of other common problems). Or maybe you and your partner just didn't pair well in this case. Sometimes having a fresh perspective on the situation, or being with a person who cares and takes consideration for you makes all the difference. I have found that people who have a hard time breaking out of their own imposed sexual roles also seem to have a hard time with enjoying variety and new things in general. The nice thing is, when a person is able to break through that barrier and allow themselves to be open to new experiences, it can be really rewarding. 

- VersatileBoy